Much to my embarrassment… I was arrested today.
It all began in the electrical isle at the Home Depot. I was buying the material to change out an electrical service. A key component to this task is a weather mast… a ten foot long, forty pound steel pipe.
This was the trigger to my situation.
As I pushed my cart down the aisle I couldn’t help but notice an attractive young woman watching me. Dressed in black slacks with a pale blue, floral top, covered with a bright orange Home Depot apron she appeared to be 23 or 24. She leaned against shelves and smiled softly in my direction.
I acknowledged her smile, nodding in return in an effort to be polite.
What had caught my eye was that fact that she wore lipstick, a deep rich, luscious, red lipstick. Her long, straight red hair had been curled under at the end giving her that Lauren Bacall forties movie star appearance.
I tried desperately to ignore her, to go on about my business, turning my back to her, reaching for the aforementioned weather mast. To my dismay they were placed four feet off the floor and stood on end making them arduously difficult to recover.
The next time I glanced in her direction she waved lightly and her smile broadened.
I smiled in return and nodded again.
She pushed off the shelves, placing her hands behind her back and began to saunter in my direction.
I stood, turning to meet her advance.
“I’ve been watching you,” she said, swinging her shoulders lightly from side to side.
“I noticed,” I returned.
With her this close I could smell her perfume, see her perfect skin and her deep blue eyes. She was truly a beautiful young woman.
“My name is Carla,” she said and placed a warm hand on my arm.
To my surprise my shoulders pulled back, my stomach sucked in and both of their own volition.
“Hi Carla,” I said not knowing exactly what I should say.
“Did you need help?” she asked rubbing my arm nonchalantly.
“No, I got it.”
I couldn’t help but notice the shape of her sweet face, her full lips, her incredible body, the wanton look in her eyes.
“Don’t be like that. You’re just like my Grandpa. He won’t ask for help either,” she cooed.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Don’t be stubborn, I help my Grandpa all the time,” she said taking my hand leading me back to my cart.
Well, as you might imagine things spiraled out of control shortly after that… mean things were said, punches were thrown, shelves knocked over and the police called…. clearly it was not my fault. However, I will say Carla has one hell of a right hook.